"But I learned fast how to keep my head up...

Cause I know there is this side of me that wants to grab the yoke from the pilot and just fly the whole mess into the sea..."


I forgot to remind myself this morning that I hate Tuesdays. With passion. I feel like I'm stuck in this mental "blah", and my body is stuck in a physical "ouch". The "ouch" from kickboxing, and the "blah" from God knows what. Maybe it's the 4th week blues or something. Maybe I've just got too much school going on and it's dragging me down. Maybe I'm hungry. Maybe it's been too long since my last cup of coffee? This is truthful.

I know I recently apologized for only writing to rant, but I'm in a ranty mood and I think I've got reason. So rant I shall.

My math teacher assigned us the last math lesson all over again (on TOP of the next lesson) because the stupid forty year olds don't know how to divide 4 by 1. And I nearly died in gym. And there was this creeper guy who came in and just stood there watching us until the teacher asked him to leave... and my neck hurts now because I was hunched over looking at my painting of leaves for 3 hours in art class.

And the sun is insufferably sunny today. The nerve.

So basically, tomorrow, I've got to:

• Read a module of biology and somehow do the chapter test before next Friday.
• Read a chapter in history and take notes on at least forty million different things.
• Finish reading something by Hawthorne for literature.
• Do TWO stinking math lessons.
• Study for an art vocabulary test on Thursday.
• Find an object or photo of an object that is mainly comprised of lines. (Isn't everything kind of?)
• Get on the stinkin website that the homeschool parents suddenly decided to make us take tests on every day, that I've been ignoring for a month....
  
• There was something else, I know it....
• Oh! Practice piano. Lessons started back up again on Monday.

It doesn't sound like much but all that stuff takes me a loong time. And when I'm tense I'm so wrapped up in being tense that I forget about everything else. I know it's ridiculous.. but what can I do? That's one more thing to add to the list.

• Find a way to get a better attitude.

What Mr. Ericson would call "PMA" - Positive Mental Attitude. Right. More like PMS.

In art class, Julie played a song that nearly killed me with laughter. It was this real jaunty little tune with the guy's perky voice. At first I wasn't paying attention, but I think Laura, Amelia and I all tuned in at the same time. The lyrics were something like: "All the people that I meet, I HATE YOU. All the people on the street, I HATE YOU." Kind of depressing at first, but after you've got it stuck in your head for 3 hours, it kind of grows on you... and now it makes me happy. Weird...

Alright. I need to do something... but faather, I just want... to... sing!
Maybe, small tyke, maybe.
Until then, I remain, as ever, me.