"I'll show you Paris on the morning...

...I'll show you London afternoon. But if your Dublin heart is burning, well you don't have to worry, cause we're going there soon."


I fell asleep thinking about a French opera house and had a dream about an Irish milkman. Who knew.

Well I woke up at about 7:20 and have been helping with the garage sale mostly since. Things are slowing down now (after Kate and I put up signs, go figure) but Mom and Dad are still out there. They mostly need me for taking stuff out, organizing it and putting it back. So I'm on call right now.

It's been pretty entertaining. My favorite part is watching Dad try to barter with the Hispanics in the neighborhood. One of our first customers was a short, paunchy man in a stetson. He pointed at the weedwacker (which needs some obvious repair) and asked "how much?" Dad held up five fingers and added "dollars" to it. The man frowned and held three stubby fingers in the air. Dad's palm moved forward about an inch for emphasis, but remained, as ever, five fingered. The man glowered behind his three extended fingers, but held firm. It was almost impressive how they held this conversation with no words for about five minutes. Each seemed sure that the other was miscounting his fingers, and each seemed unable to move his own. Finally, the man ended up walking away with the weedwacker, his pockets emptied of five dollars.

Mueller: 1. Neighborhood: 0.

When Kate and I were putting up signs, we saw that there was another yard sale down the street. They had signs that were bigger and brighter than ours, darn them... So we put our signs next to theirs, to create some obviously needed tension.

On the way back to the house, I thought Kate spit on me. But the air is so thick and foggy that she assumed it was about to start raining. The score for the neighborhood would've been upped one, but it hasn't started raining yet.

Mueller: 2. Neighborhood: 0.

So I made a pot of coffee when we got back and went outside to keep Mom and Dad company. Kate left a while ago to go be a photographer's assistant at a wedding in Santa Barbara. Then I played the piano for a bit and have been in here for about twenty minutes since.

About an hour ago, Mom realized there was a lull in traffic on our street and decided some of the signs must have blown down. So she went, looked around, and came back to report that the signs we had placed near our neighbors had been taken down! I couldn't help but laugh a little. So our neighbors were evil. Evil, but smart.

Mueller: 2. Neighborhood: 1.

Things are catching up. I'll have to see how the day ends up... should be interesting.


A while later.

Well. Garage sale's almost over, I'd wager, and we've made about $300.

Mueller: 3. Neighborhood: 1.

HAH.

"Since then it's been a book you read in reverse...

...So you understand less as the pages turn. Or a movie so crass and awkwardly cast that even I could be the star."

Today was pretty good, even though I wasn't home at all. Pictures at the park were interesting enough, especially cause Mom and I showed up at the wrong park first... anyway, I hope my picture'll be ok... last years' was wretched... for some reason they had some of the kids say "wednesday" right as the camera clicked. But they didn't make me do it. Not sure if that was a good sign or a bad one.

Anyway, after that I went to Sharkie's and then Barnes and Noble with Amelia, James and John. We just kind of hung around, and Amelia and I took turns reading "Twilight" to each other... I've been curious about that book (and movies/tv series?) since I got on Facebook. The "pieces of flair" application is rampant with Edward Cullen one liners. Even though the book was poorly written, it was intriguing - mostly, I think, because of the many thousands of teenagers who are completely obsessed with it. There must be a reason for it... but then, I think of how popular Miley Cyrus is, and I check myself.

At 3:30 Mom came and picked me up and took me off to Michelle's. I babysat Marley and Savanna for like 3 hours... I love those kids so much but I wasn't really looking forward to it. I had this huge headache by the time I left Barnes and Noble and my cheeks kind of hurt from smiling... but we had fun. Marley's gotten into this thing where her answer for everything is "umm, ok!" That, and she calls me "U-ya", which is definitely a way to win my heart over. At least, for a 2 year old. If anyone older than that called me "U-ya", I wouldn't be so impressed. I don't think.

In any case, I got $30, which was way cool.

Ok, remember like last week when I couldn't think of my happiest memory? It happened again today, only with my most embarrassing one. Either I'm too cool to be embarrassed (HAH), or I've just become so used to it that I don't notice it as much. I think it's the latter, but I can't be quite sure. Time will tell, I guess.

Well, we're having a garage sale tomorrow (oh joy) and I guess I'd better go do something to make myself useful in preparing for it. And I still have an ungodly amount of biology and history to do.... sigh.

"I thought of you and where you'd gone..."

"...And let the world spin madly on."

And madly on it spins. But not unbearably madly, in any case.

I ditched kickboxing today cause I'm still so sore from Tuesday and plus I didn't feel like going and I have too much other homework. Anyway, it was my first official ditching of a class. Yay me! I went to math, though, then came home, did some biology, and went back at 1 for art... saw the "geometry kids", who I haven't seen in a few weeks and I kind of missed the little buggers. Anyways, there's not much else to say about today... other than I love Laura and Amelia with the love of a thousand suns, and I feel like I got a pepsi-hangover. I hadn't thought that possible.

And, obviously, today is September 11th. Eight years ago it would've just been like any other day, isn't that weird? I mean my family wasn't effected by it, since it was all the way out in New York... but still. It's unbelievable how much has changed since then, especially for those who were effected by it.
God bless them all, and everyone who's still being effected...

*************************************************************************************

So it's 10:26 and I'm bored. Tired, and bored, but I don't want to go to bed. I may write, or even do math homework. Yes, these are desperate times.

I miss my stinking brother so much. This is the kind of time I would normally go up to his room - when I'm bored and need someone to talk to... I'd come up the stairs and hear him tapping away on the keys and playing Bob Dylan. Not so. Sometimes I hate it how life jumps ahead for some people while I stay in the same stinking rut people have come to call high school. It's not fair. And darnit, I just want to hug him.

Tomorrow is picture day for ACHEV. Woohoo. I don't even know what I'm wearing... blah. But Amelia and I are hanging out afterwards, so that'll be fun...

Ugh I have this horrible headache that's been jumping on me all day. How do you get rid of those?

I need to do something and get my mind off of things......

Don't think twice, it's alright.

Okay. I've been in a much better, less-ranty mood today. But I simply must say.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Does my math teacher have no idea what he did to us yesterday? I've been doing math for THREE HOURS, (well, on and off... a girl does need breaks once in a while. But mostly on.) and I just now finished last week's lesson. There's a whole 'nother 7 pages of stupid things I learned in pre-algebra. It's not HARD, it just takes FOREVER to write down and work out without a calculator. And I hated pre-algebra.

I've not been wasting today. I've been doing school since like 10. I got some history done, much art homework... and of course, lesson 1.9 in math. Now to start chapter two. I think I'll be up all night doing this... it just takes too long!!

Whyyyyyyyyy.......

I just... I don't know, I need somebody to do it for me or something. It's so frustrating and so tedious and GAH. I HATE math, darnit....

Heeellllllpppp!

************************************************************************************

So. I just now finished math. WHEW. And now I kind of feel sick... which is no good cause I still have to do some biology. And perhaps some reading for mom's lit class. We shall see... I just need a break from school. A break from life might be good too... and that's why God created naps. But darnit, I can't sleep in the day time. Agg.......

But at least I finished math. That was my main agitation. Goodbye's too good a word, babe, so I'll just say fare the well...

Ooh. Last night I drew this picture. It's called "You are the Dandelion". :) It was based off a picture of me eating ice cream in Truckee... I just took out my sticky-ice-cream-fingers and fudged a few things here and there. But I like it. Anyways.... I'm gonna go... eat something. Yes.

"But I learned fast how to keep my head up...

Cause I know there is this side of me that wants to grab the yoke from the pilot and just fly the whole mess into the sea..."


I forgot to remind myself this morning that I hate Tuesdays. With passion. I feel like I'm stuck in this mental "blah", and my body is stuck in a physical "ouch". The "ouch" from kickboxing, and the "blah" from God knows what. Maybe it's the 4th week blues or something. Maybe I've just got too much school going on and it's dragging me down. Maybe I'm hungry. Maybe it's been too long since my last cup of coffee? This is truthful.

I know I recently apologized for only writing to rant, but I'm in a ranty mood and I think I've got reason. So rant I shall.

My math teacher assigned us the last math lesson all over again (on TOP of the next lesson) because the stupid forty year olds don't know how to divide 4 by 1. And I nearly died in gym. And there was this creeper guy who came in and just stood there watching us until the teacher asked him to leave... and my neck hurts now because I was hunched over looking at my painting of leaves for 3 hours in art class.

And the sun is insufferably sunny today. The nerve.

So basically, tomorrow, I've got to:

• Read a module of biology and somehow do the chapter test before next Friday.
• Read a chapter in history and take notes on at least forty million different things.
• Finish reading something by Hawthorne for literature.
• Do TWO stinking math lessons.
• Study for an art vocabulary test on Thursday.
• Find an object or photo of an object that is mainly comprised of lines. (Isn't everything kind of?)
• Get on the stinkin website that the homeschool parents suddenly decided to make us take tests on every day, that I've been ignoring for a month....
  
• There was something else, I know it....
• Oh! Practice piano. Lessons started back up again on Monday.

It doesn't sound like much but all that stuff takes me a loong time. And when I'm tense I'm so wrapped up in being tense that I forget about everything else. I know it's ridiculous.. but what can I do? That's one more thing to add to the list.

• Find a way to get a better attitude.

What Mr. Ericson would call "PMA" - Positive Mental Attitude. Right. More like PMS.

In art class, Julie played a song that nearly killed me with laughter. It was this real jaunty little tune with the guy's perky voice. At first I wasn't paying attention, but I think Laura, Amelia and I all tuned in at the same time. The lyrics were something like: "All the people that I meet, I HATE YOU. All the people on the street, I HATE YOU." Kind of depressing at first, but after you've got it stuck in your head for 3 hours, it kind of grows on you... and now it makes me happy. Weird...

Alright. I need to do something... but faather, I just want... to... sing!
Maybe, small tyke, maybe.
Until then, I remain, as ever, me.

If I ever leave this world alive...

Meanwhile, a mere few hours later...

I think I'm going slightly mad. And I think math pushed it. I did it surprisingly fast, but now as mom fills the house with weird smells for a creative writing project, and my cat continues her idiotic existence, and Kate occasionally yells things like, "I can't! Nooo, I'm always right!" when no one is even in the room with her, I notice I have a headache. Perhaps some coffee.

Yes, that did the trick.

I can't really explain why I'm so aggravated that Kate didn't like my story. It's picking at me slowly, getting more and more obnoxious. I can get along with telling myself we just have different opinions. What drives me crazy is her continual, relentless belief that "sooner or later I'll see she's right."

OOH, another annoyance about this story. I was complaining to Mom about it, who I haven't let read it because... well, I don't really know why. First of all, if she reads it, so will Dad, and I don't know that he'd like it. I think Mom'll either hate it or love it, and I can't take another person hating it; while if she loves it, she'll want to share it with everybody. And I think I'll always be touchy about who sees my writings. At least, until I get published. ;)

Anyway. So I'm talking to Mom about it, and she says, "Well the first page was really good --" Erm, what? First page?? I hadn't let her see it. So she tries to cover up: "You left it up on the computer and I just looked at the first page." Heh. I've never left things up on the computer screen for this very reason.

The only reason I'm not reallllly all that mad about it was because Mom's never done stuff like this before. I guess I somewhat brought it upon myself by not letting her see it yet. But still... I didn't like that, no sir.

Eeee. New subject. I just realized that most of the time when I write I'm either depressed or agitated about something. Sorry about that...

Whenever I listen to Irish music I get this amazing feeling that makes me want to run along hilltops and sing along. Sort of the reaction Mom gets when we watch "sound of music." This feeling gets kind of annoying after a while, because for now, I can't. So I comfort myself with thinking of the year I'll spend in Ireland after college.... *sigh*

Well it's not a given that I'll go, but by golly, I'm gonna do everything I can to give it a shot. All my life I've had various ideas about what I want. This idea about Ireland suddenly makes it all within reach. It's the first time I've been so sure about something this close. If you call 6 years "close"...

These past two days it's been gray and gloomy. Finally. Is that weird that I like this weather better than sunshine? Mom says it's the Irish in me. ;) Maybe one of these days it'll rain. It's always nice when it rains in the autumn...

Silly me. I got on here so I could post short stories and such... now I'm doing what normal people do and journaling. Well, it's a start...

Dream every night that one will come true...

Being a procrastinator really takes it out of you. I've got soooo much vc homework, group solutions homework (which is pretty gay since it hasn't even STARTED yet...) and piano lessons are in like an hour... I've got at least a million and one things that I should and could be doing. But nope. I've been writing all day. Well, if I flunk school, at least I'll have a good case of carpel tunnel to keep me busy.

Around mid-August I wrote a 49 page story in about a week and a half, and I've been repairing it ever since. I let Kate read it and she pretty much unknowingly tore it down... but then, Kate and I have very different opinions on things when music, art, and literature are concerned. Well, not so much art. But at least definitely music and literature. So I sent it off to Katrina. Jon, too, but he didn't write back. Anyway, Katrina gave good advice and I've spent all morning fixing the blasted thing up. Hopefully it'll be worth the effort.

I am slightly proud of myself though, in any case. Normally when people give me critiques - no matter how nicely put or how true it may be - I have a really hard time accepting that it's not perfect. I felt that way for a few seconds yesterday but I buckled down and made myself look at it from another angle. I think it worked.

Monday's always depress me, because I know there's a whole other five days to get through before the blessed weekend. That, and I know school is the next day. It seems especially hard to go back after weekends.

Alright. No more putting it off. I should go do math, then history... hah, as if I could do those both in an hour. Well... maybe just history then. Math and biology when I get back. I have a feeling this will be a late one. Day, that is. Or night. Both? Well. Studying at my desk with coffee and music in the wee hours actually sounds refreshing. Yup, I'm in one of those moods again....

P.s. Why is it that whenever I'm writing in here, the song "she's electric" comes on my playlist? I think it's a sign. But I've got far more cousins than just a dozen...
"She is electric, can I be electric, too?"