Where I am and where I want to be.
So you prayers in doubt,
Doubt not for me."
Yeah yeah, two journal entries in one day... within six hours of each other, what's more. But oh well... I'm bored. And I'd be writing a story or something, but Kate's using my computer, so all I have is this other computer with blogspot. Hmm... we'll make due.
Y'know... I've decided I'm too stubborn for my own good. I was at a dance last night, and a friend of mine was practically ignoring me for some reason... then he told me he'd ask me to dance later, and an hour passed. And I was too stubborn to go and be like, "um, hey you, you forgot me..." So Laura went and told him to ask me. Which was somewhat degrading. Yeah, it was my own stupid fault for being so darn stubborn, but blah. It's the principle of the matter, you know? I miss Jon. I wish he'd come back home, or at least write or call.... and you know what's most frustrating? I've got SO much to do during the weekdays, but then on weekends when there's really nothing to do, I'm too tired and boring to write. And all I've wanted to DO is write, in one of my stories, I mean... but I can't. I am completely lacking creativity and it's rather depressing. Remember that story I wrote a long while ago, about Eloise and her sanctuary? Darned good story if I do say so. People from church are coming over in like two hours... I've got too much to do... or do I? I don't want tomorrow to be Monday... I'm not ready for another week. Of course, when am I ever? I'm tired of facebook. I'm tired of lots of things... like people. They are oh so tiring. And ridiculous! Oh so ridiculous. I came up with a word for people yesterday and was laughing for about ten minutes. Nannyraggits. I have no idea what it even means but you can kind of get the idea... my fingers feel somewhat arthritic. And it's foggy outside. Maybe it'll rain. Hmmmmm. Today's the 28th. That means it's almost October. And that's not cool... actually it is, just, I'm not ready for the things in October. I'm ready for it to be OVER, rather, for school to be over, or at least the semester. The worst feeling is when you're kind of ticked at the people who usually make you happy. That's kind of tickish. Then when you feel ticked at the people you're usually ticked at. That's just normal. Maybe I should paint. Orr, drink coffee. Yes, I think I will. My teeth hurt. Why is that? I'm trying to see how long I can possibly make this. You know last night I danced with a guy who was prolly 7 feet tall? I did. It was crazy. I felt like a twig, and I realized, so that's how most guys feel with they dance with me.... well, not twig-like, but tiny. When Jesus was on earth, what did people say when he sneezed?? But anyway, this is all ridiculous... and I've not even run out of things to talk about. If you read this far you're my hero. Unless you're not my hero, in which case, weirdy! That was my Mickey Rooney bit for the day. Did I mention I got a headboard for my bed yesterday? Finally. I did. I did mention it. Well I've had it for a while, but we just put it on yesterday. It's cold. Not the headboard, the weather.... you know what I found, is when you're depressed, read the first chapter of James. I felt loads better yesterday. It was not my happy day. Nor the day before. I'm not even particularly happy today, but I'm trying. I think I'll be happier when I do something. I need a haircut... my hair's long enough to fit in a pony tail now and that's definitely a sign that it's too long. Speaking of long, this is long, so, so long.
"Though you'll find your way out,
But there's no goin' now.
Every woman and child
Drags you down for the dive.
It's not safe being free,
Can't give back what you feel.
He said you'll always be in heaven with me."
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