"People moving all the time,

Inside a perfectly straight line
Don't you wanna curve away?
When it's such…
It's such a perfect day."

Not really a fan of the musical style of that song but I gotta say the lyrics are lovely.

Well. It's currently 10:32 on a Tuesday night andddd, I'm not tired. Even though Mom just told me to go to bed. Pah. At nights I'm too filled with thoughts to sleep - during the day I'm too busy to think much. Sad the way it works, isn't it?

A half hour after Jon and Beth left on Sunday night, I could already feel the annoyance of the every day dullness set in. This week is yet another crazy one and currently, I have the overwhelming knowledge of: an entire history chapter to read, a history paper to write, 4 short stories to read for Lit. and a paper to write on each one, 2 math lessons, studying for a math TEST (yeah, aNOTHER one), piano to practice, and the music that I want to write that isn't cooperating and coming to me. All before Friday (actually, much of it before Thursday.) Except for the music... that's just to be relaxing, except that writers' block is hardly relaxing at all. So tomorrow's a big day.

I think a bug just bit me.

Hmm... so recently I've been wondering. We all know how much trouble gossip can get us into. I mean of course it's something God frowns on... so. What I want to know is, what's the real difference between the things we think about people, and the things we say out loud about them? I mean, why is saying it out loud worse? It's essentially the same. We can't control our thoughts... at least not entirely. So if we think a bad thing about someone, why does it suddenly become a larger sin once it's articulated? It makes not much sense. At all.

There was something else I wanted to say, but I forgot what it was... don't you hate that? Well you probably don't... but I do. Ugh. This is gonna bug me all night. I smell coffee. Good ol' Dad.

I need to start driving. Today after art class I started walking to Snapper's with Laura, Amelia, Steven and Luke. Just as we almost get there, Kate calls and tells me that I have to walk back so she can take me home. Of course she couldn't just drive over and pick me up (even though it IS on the way), or better yet, come and JOIN us.... I mean I can understand her wanting to get home after a long day and whatnot. But she does this EVERY week. I'm so tired of not being able to hang out with my friends after 9 hours of class. Not trying to be all high and mighty but I think I deserve some fun after all that. All this to say, the sooner I start driving, the better.

Yes, definitely a bug bite. Nasty little vixen.

I think... I think I need to be in a new place. I'm tired of Groups Solutions, I'm tired of VC, and the majority of people I know (yes, yes, there are plenty of exceptions) are kind of tiring as well. I'm tired of watching people older than me go on to new things and new people... I always hated being left behind. I guess I'm just feeling restless. Today in math class I actually found myself making tally marks in the back of my notebook. It was 'VC day' 17 today, if you'd like to know. 16 more to go.

I just want to be somewhere where I can actually feel like I'm doing something. VC makes me feel like a zombie. GS makes me feel like a kiss-up. Which, mixed together, creates a rather frightening image. At any rate, my life right now is rather stagnate. Same thing, over and over again, day after day. I find myself settling for just getting through the day in one piece. I know I'm losing sight of some of the more important things in my life, but when I think to change things, I'm too worn out.

Speaking of being worn out. I'm not actually tired but I think I've said all I can (or should...) on all this. There's not really anything else to add... which, I think, furthers my point... I need something new.